The grocery bag

Some years back, I was staying with my colleagues in a three-bedroom flat. Let’s name the flat-mates for our convenience: Preachy (yours truly), Baby & Perfect (Checkout my post on “Types of flat-mates” to know the origin of these names).

They could manage only late-night interactions on weekdays as all had different office hours. One day, the door bell rang when only Baby was at home. It was the local vendor delivering a bag of prepaid groceries. As Baby was running late for office, she assumed it was ordered by either Preachy or Perfect and accepted the bag. All three of them made one mistake each regarding the grocery bag. Here’s how the events unfolded:

Perfect’s mobile phone rang in the middle of an important client meeting. She ignored it. Eventually, she had to excuse herself for the call after consistent ringing. “Hello, who’s this?” said Perfect. “My grocery bag has been delivered to your flat by mistake. I have been calling for so long. It’s possible, I gave the wrong address, or the guy noted it incorrectly. Can I come pick it up?”, said the lady at the other end. “Actually, I am out, let me check with my flat-mates”. This was Perfect’s mistake.

Most of the metro cities in India are full of young girls and boys just out of college staying with friends or colleagues trying to make ends meet. These people are referred to as “bachelors”. Any decent apartment community has a strict policy of bachelor tenants not allowed. The logic just fails me! According to this rule, girls and boys mature overnight as soon as they get married making them eligible to rent a flat in these esteemed apartment complexes. Marriage is surely not a measurement people’s maturity and sensitivity! I once found a public post on my apartment complex’s WhatsApp group by a respected “non-bachelor” member: “This message is for the “fat” lady who comes to the front garden with a beagle. Please pickup the dog poo.” Such crass call out of a lady’s physical appearance is pure class, isn’t it?

Perfect’s reference to “flat-mates” made it clear that she and her friends were “bachelors”. The grocery bag lady had an upper hand now! The lady insisted the bag to be dropped at her house as the girls shouldn’t have received it at the first place. The girls were adamant that it wasn’t their mistake and they weren’t making the drop. The lady lodged a complaint against them with the residents’ welfare. Things got blown way out of proportion and at one point the girls received a call from their landlord asking why they had stolen someone’s groceries! Perfect, eldest of the three, was in her early 30s. She was already having a tough time regarding her marriage with her family. The thought of her being single effecting her living condition was lame and infuriating at the same time! Perfect and Preachy tried to reason with the grocery bag lady on phone that evening but no one was ready to back down. Tired and frustrated they called the local grocery shop vendor to pick up the bag which he promised to do the next morning. Perfect slept and asked Preachy to inform Baby of the whole situation. Baby didn’t come home till very late that night and Preachy slept off. This was Preachy’s mistake.

Preachy and Perfect woke up to a smell of choco-chip pancakes. Baby had gotten up early that morning. As Preachy or Perfect mostly took care of the breakfast, she wanted to make something special to kick off Saturday morning. It was a full breakfast buffet with pancakes, toast, cereal and fresh cut fruits. Preachy and Perfect were thrilled. They smiled at each other..then it hit them! There it was! The empty grocery bag! This was Baby’s mistake. They waited for the grocery vendor with full stomachs and the empty bag. Paid him the amount which they assumed he would pay the crazy bag lady. Never heard back from the lady. However, a strict policy of not getting grocery delivered was introduced in that “bachelors” flat.

2 thoughts on “The grocery bag

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  1. Haha! This cracked me up! So, shit happens when people don’t maintain their expected character! ThePerfectOne was not supposed to make any mistakes, TheBaby was not supposed to “act” responsibly by making breakfast for everyone and what happened to our preachy little insomniac here! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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